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Here is a transcript of the speech I made on the day. I was quite nervous, but people seemed to enjoy it! Thank you, Derek, for that...er...interesting speech. It's good to know that we've timed our honeymoon so that we get back for the Cambridge beer festival. My wife and I would like to thank you all for coming along today. It's amazing to see most of our family and friends all under one roof. And what a mixed bunch you are - ringers from all over the place, family and friends from England and Wales and even friends from Canada! We'd also like to thank the parents for their help and support - both emotionally and financially - and for their opinions and ideas. Also a special thanks to my mum who has toiled over the wedding cake for weeks. There was a bit of a panicky moment when I told mum it was only 2 weeks and 5 days to the big day and she replied "I thought it was 4 weeks to go!", but I think you'll agree with me when I say that it looks great. Looking back over the last 7 and a half years, who would have thought that the many letters, visits and record breaking two and three quarter hour phone calls would result in this day. Saying that, though, it took many months of relationship preamble before friends of mine herded us together at a venue called Cloud 9 at the Students Union in Cardiff and told us to "stop faffing and just get on with it". Or words to that effect. But today, I feel like the luckiest man alive - I am trying to avoid the obvious Cloud 9 pun, but it's proving difficult. When we first announced the engagement, people congratulated us and generally added "at last" or "about time". What I was surprised with was that no one seemed to pick up on the best and rather obvious pun: Katherine's sur....no, sorry, MAIDEN-name. "Wright". Katherine was Miss Wright. And not just anyone's Miss Wright, she is MY Miss Wright. I've said and done some stupid things over the years, and yet Katherine still puts up with me and my taste in music. I'm thankful for that. To be honest, Katherine, I really wouldn't know what to do without you. And Katherine, even though you're Mrs Probert now, you will ALWAYS be my Miss Wright and I love you to bits. I think you look absolutely gorgeous today. And it's good to see that the dress isn't pink, as you've been threatening over the last couple of months. Time, I think, to move on to the last bit of my speech. My wife and I recently bought a tandem, which I think is an excellent analogy for marriage. Bear with me on this..... The first stage, once you and your partner have decided to take that scary step into the world of being a tandem owner, is choosing the tandem. The model, style, colour, extras and upgrades are all things that can be fiddled and tweaked. It's a painstaking process. Then the day finally arrives when the tandem is delivered. A day much like today. You're both excited and grinning from ear to ear. You hurriedly open the box and the tandem stands there, gleaming in the sun. Your friends and family gather round the sparkly new tandem and there's a lot of "oooh"ing and "ahhh"ing. Maybe a tear or two from the parents as they see their children growing up and owning a serious bike. Once all the well-wishing crowds have dispersed, it's time to go it alone and start your lives as a couple of newly-tandem-owners. You both hop on, nervous about your first few turns of the peddles. You both push off in your new life, not knowing what to expect. You wobble, the tandem lurches, and you try to keep it going. With a bit of perseverance, though, things become more stable. "Not bad", you think, "this tandem owning is a doddle. It's quite nice". But then it comes to your next challenge - manoeuvring. It could be something as simple as turning or even just slowing down, it doesn't matter. Here's where the tandem owners need to communicate. Without communication, things can get quite wobbly and uncomfortable. Let me elaborate a little: Turning - if the front person (the captain) doesn't let the back person (the stoker) know that there's a turn coming up, the stoker doesn't know what's going on and doesn't lean into the corner with the captain. The tandem becomes a bit unstable and difficult to handle. And there's slowing down - if either the captain or the stoker want to stop peddling but don't let the other person know this, they end up battling against each other - one trying to put energy in, and the other taking it out. In either case, what should be a lean-mean cycling machine turns into a rather wobbly, unstable piece of metal with two people perched on top. But as time goes by, you learn to communicate and trust each other. You get more confident with the tandem. You get to know your tandem partner, and you even start to anticipate their moves. You work together and the miles just fly by. You even start appreciating the scenery instead of being focused on making the tandem work. Obviously as newly-weds, we're going to have our wobbly and unstable moments, but I just pray that we will communicate and get through those times and that you, as family and friends, will help us through them too. Anyway......the analogy stops here, and so does my speech, really. I think it's time to move on and thank the wedding crew. Firstly, we'd like to thank.... My mum: for the cake..... The Bridesmaids: Penny, Karen and Alison - for helping Katherine sort out the dress and for coming down to Cambridge so many times in the run-up to the wedding. The Ushers: Daron and Martin - you did a great job of helping out in the church, and rallying the guests up for the photos. Percy: for helping out on what is a very hectic day; for not living up to your name this morning; and for not losing the rings, for which Katherine and I are grateful. I feel I should withhold the present for now until your speech is over, but I think I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I believe it's traditional for me to propose a toast to the bridesmaids at this point, who I think look great today (although not as fantastic as my wife, obviously). So if you'll raise your glasses ......The bridesmaids! And now it's time to hand over to the best man. Ladies and Gentlemen - Percy! |